Little Green Eyed Girl
by violet rider
Summary: " I can't be the one that hurts you." I blinked as a tear fell down my cheek. " Stiles please, you know how I feel about you." " But do you love me?" His hand was on the handle and I knew this was my last chance. Stiles sighed when I didn't answer," That's what I was afraid of."
1. Hurt ( Revised)

ittle Green Eyed Girl

Disclaimer: I don't own teen wolf because if I did there would be alot of shirtless Stiles...*sighs*

Ch 1: Hurt

Lydia's POV:

" Lydia I think we should tell them, about us."

The noise startled me as I glanced over my shoulder to see Stiles still half naked after one of our "study sessions", he was kind of picturesque : lying in my bed with his messybrown hair mused, and his steady arms wound tight around me as he played with stray strands of my hair. We had been sneaking around for nearly two months now and I could tell he was impatient to tell Scott, his best friend, althought honestly I think he just wanted to get me to admit it. To admit that we had crossed the bridge of no return and maybe to acknowledge to him for the first time that for me it wasn't just about sex , although the sex we had was... heartbreakingly good. But admitting that I was with Stiles meant saying that I cared and caring meant risk. I didnty want to risk him breaking my heart, or risking him being corrupted by me, I don't be responsible for another Jackson

" Us." I said slowly unwillingly opening my eyes, I knew I'd see Stiles with his soft understanding smile and pleading eyes.

" Yes us, we are an us right?" Stiles voice was still soft and light like he didn't want to push me. I couldn't help but smile at the thought, he never wanted to push me, I was the pusher in this relationship.

I turned to look at him,"I told you I didn't want to, why isn't this enough? Just you and me being happy, isn't that enough for you?" I bit my lip and looked down silently hoping he'd let it drop.

" Look Lydia, I've always been upfront with how I feel for you and I don't want this to be just about sex." I snorted at that but Stiles continued, I knew he would once he got started it was hard to get him to stop. " This, being with you or just talking to you whatever you want, that's enough for me. But I don't think that's why you won't tell anyone about us. I feel like maybe it's because you don't want to be with me as much as I want to be with you."

" I still don't see why we need to tell anyone," I whispered," this is enough for me" I glanced down in my lap. Was he always this dumb, did he not see how I felt about him, why did I need to say it?

Stiles looked at me in shock," I'm in love with you that's why. I've pined after you for years and I've never tried to make you do anything you don't want. If you don't want to be loved by me then just say it."

" I don't want people to know, thats the only reason. Why can't this be our secret?" I tried to snuggle back into his arms but he pulled away pulling on his shirt.

" What if I don't want to be one of your little secrets Lydia, or do you even care? I can't be with you like this and I'm done being used!"

"Stiles, don't be like that_." _He simply ignored me brushing past me to collect his things.

I rose to face him, we were officially yelling at each other. If I wasn't so afraid of losing him I would have mentioned it was our first fight.

"There is no us and there never will be outside of this room." Immediately after I said it I regretted it. Stiles rose not bothering to pull on his jacket andwalked towards my door not looking at me.

" Stiles wait-" _I've never wanted anything so much as you, please._

" You know what, I'm done. I'm done with the late night calles and the hiding how i feel and damn it I'm tired of giving my heart to you. If you don't love me that's fine I get that but since you say theres no us I won't worry. I care about you Lydia why don't you get that? I'm not Jackson or Aidan and I want to be more than just another friend with benefits. You can't love anyone that doesn't want to hurt or use you and I'm not that person. I can't be the one that hurts you."

I blinked as a tear fell down my cheek. " Stiles please, you know how I feel about you."

" But do you love me?" His hand was on the handle and I knew this was my last chance.

Do I love the way you fought for me even when I didn't know I was in danger? Did I love you the first time you made me feel like I was the only girl alive. Do I still love you now although you're breaking my heart. Of course. I opened my mouth but the adrenaline fled me and I faltered, I couldn't do it.

Stiles sighed when I didn't answer," That's what I was afraid of."

_I can't be the one to hurt you, _he had said, too late.

A week later and three boxes of tissue it was fair to say we were back to normal, well as normal as we ever were. Stiles and I had been avoiding each other. Avoiding meaning he wouldn't look at me and after seeing him for the first time after our fight made me burst into tears during English class I too decided distance would be best. I was surprisingly good at this, being completely single; although Aidan still texted me every now but I ignored him. The only guy I wanted had walked away from me. _It wasn't like that, _I scolded in my mind, you drove him away theres a difference. Allision had been blissfully ignorant, or atleast she had enough tact to not mention it so far but my luck ran out when she cornered me.

" What is wrong with you?"

I decided to play dumb." My dogs has fleas, my parents are always fighting, and I have to sleep with a retainer to help my overbite, you?"

"Please don't play dumb Lydia. You've been a wreck all week, we're best friends we're supposed to tell each other these things. And it's not just you Scott's noticed Stiles has been off too, so if you don't tell me now I swear I'll ask him." Her brown eyes flashed and I knew she wasn't bluffing.

" Fine, lets go somewhere private okay? I really don't need the whole school knowing my business." She nodded and we walked into an empty classroom.

" So what do you want to know?" I asked.

Allision quirked her brow," Everything." I knew it was useless to hide it and I wanted someone to know, I didn't want this to be my secret anymore.

" Stiles and I broke up."

" Broke up as in not friends or something more?..." My brunette friend stared at her nails but I knew she was full of wuestions inside, we really knew each other too well sometimes.

I blushed at the thought of the "more" she was talking about." Broke up as in ending almost two months of crazy beautiful sex, midnight phone calles, and comfort. But I guess we broke up as friends too,I don't even know if we could be friends again."

" I'm really sorry," Allision finally said after a pause," Why'd you end it?"

I couldn't look her in the eyes,it was too embarassing." He wanted to be more than my dirty klittle secret, he asked me if I love him..." I let it hover there.

" And you said no?"

I shook my hair suddenly even more ashamed," I said nothing at all."

Allision's eyebrows knit together " You said no because you don't love him?"

I shook her head. "I said nothing because I do." Crystal cocked her eyebrow in confusion.

I said something horrible, that we weren't an us outside of the bedroom and that there would never be an us. Do you know the worst part Allison... I lied right through my teeth because I'd rather reject him than have him reject me. HE asked me if I loved him and I did I wanted to say it, but I just let him go." The tears were streaming down my face.

" It's okay." Allision cooed wrapping her arm around my shaking shoulders.

" He's Stiles give him a few days and he'll forgive you."

I shook my head splashing tears on her sweater," I won't forgive myself."


	2. Forgiveness

**Little Green Eyed Girl**

**Disclaimer: I don't own teen wolf because if I did there would be alot of shirtless Stiles...*sighs***

**AN: I wasn't sure this was good enough to update although I think you guys have proved me wrong. I appologize for any issues w/grammar. I'm looking for a beta but you may have to put up with a few raw chapters until I find one because I don't have an eye for it. Thanks for the reviews and constuructive crit everyone. Enjoy :)**

**Ch 2: Forgiveness**

**Lydia's POV:**

" Which is better?" I asked posing in front of Allison's bedroom mirror I twisted to see the dress on all sides, but I really couldn't choose they both looked great.

" Blue or black?"

Allison groggilly pulled her blanket tight around her head.

" Go home, I'm sick." She growled groggily pulling her blanket closer if that was evenb possible.

Not one to be swayed I marched over and tugged her curtains over, exposing her to the light.

" I think if you wear the black one they'll send you home." Allison winced as she sat up," Can you leave me now?"

I rolled my eyes, we both knew better than that.

" Here." I tossed one of her warmer tops and jeans on the table," Yuo have five minutes or you won't have a ride." Deftly ignoring her look of outrage I admired the dress in the mirror one last time before settling for a more school appropriate look, the blue dress.

After half an hour of poking and pordding I forved her out of bed and into clean clothes. I know I was a horrible person but I desperately needed the help. Today I'm going to talk to Stiles, I'm going to tell him that it wasn't just about the sex for me, it was always him. Allison begrudgingly climbed into the passenger seat and I sped to class waiting for the hours to drag on until lunch.

When the bell finally rang I woke Allison and helped her peel herself out of the chair.

" Why am I doing this?" She asked rubbing her nose which was bright red. We were peeking aroudn the corner across from stils's locker

" Because your my best friend and I'd do it for you?" Allision scoffed in response.

" You owe me a box of tissue." I nodded, in honesty I owed her alot of things but now wasn't the time or place." There he is!" I backed up trying to hide but I knocked Allison down.

" Lydia.."

" Shhh, who the hell is that?" I hissed looking at the pretty brunette that appearaed seemingly out of nowwhere and was currently laughing with  
Stiles.

Allision sniffed and elbowed at me to keep it down. " New student, Amy Choo our age I think?" She tugged at my hair sharply,"Funny, when you said you'd talk to Stiles this isn't what I expected." I tried to glare but it was hard not to laugh at her messy hair and shiny red nose as we crouched behind the lockers.

The girl never left my sight as I replied," I did not say I'd talk to him. I said I'd see how he feels about it, and he obviously is quite over me." I gritted my teeth as the girl hugged Stiles and handed him a sheet of paper.

"Lydia this is ridiculous just go talk to him. For God's sakes it's Stiles. Isn't he the same kid who has been in love with you since God knows when?"

As Amy's retreating form strutted away I allowed myself a smirk, "Third grade." The brunette was closer now she lesned in like she was telling him a secret.

"I don't like her." I complained turning to Allison.

" Yeah, and surprise surprise you don't _know _h-" Allisoin paused to blow her nose.

I didn't respond to her question, I was a little caught up in my own thoughts. Maybe I did hate her a little because she was talking to Stiles but how was that unlike any girl with a... crush. Now that we were essentially through, how long would it take Stiles to realize he could get amazing girls like t_hat_ in his sleep? What if he didn't _want _me back? I turned to voice my concerns to Allsion when I looked forward and saw Stiles looking amused . Right. At. Us.

" Lydia, I know you're there." His voice still sounded a little strained when he said my name but otherwise he looked fine. Maybe a few days of distance was all we needed and things would be back to normal. I didn't have much time to think on it though because suddenly Stiles was standing at the lockers peering down at us.

" Hey Stile what's up," I turned back to Allison nervously," We're just looking for... Allision's earring she lost it and it's very important to her."

" Uh huh, are you sure."

" Of course." Allision and I stood up as bit my lip. If anyones out there I prayed, just let him believe me and I promise to be better, not perfect _just better._

Stiles didn't try to hid his smiles as he laughed," Okay, if you're looking for her earring wheres the other one?"He asked motioning to her ear."

I sighed in defeat," How'd you know?" I asked.

" Well I liked to think it was good old fashioned intuition, and the fact Allision waved me over." I turned around and sure enough Allision had snuck away. I brsiteled a little that even when sick she could sneak away, but not for long I was her ride home.

" Damn hunters." I muttered behind my breath.

" It's good , we uh needed to talk."

I nodded, "So how are things ?" Stiles scoffed rolling his eyes at me.

" Really Lydia, you're trying to make small talk? I think it's as little late for that."

I scowled, Allison told me or maybe the better word was screamed into my ear that when I talked to Stiles I should let him say what he needed to say and tell him how I feel. Yeah I'm not doing that, If thats how he wants to be I can give it right back.

"Okay Stiles, why don't we talk. Like about your little whore, or the fact you've been avoiding me, or yeah better yet tell me how you feel since its all you ever do."

Stiles raised a disbelieving eyebrow," She's a new student, the school assigned me to be her tutor . Do you know her?" I instantly deflated with my guilt, of course I didn't . Stiles sighed reaching for my hand, "Ok yeah so maybe I have been avoiding you. I didn't want to act like we could just go back to comparing lab notes after that, most people wait awhile after they break up or whatever we did.."

" I'm sorry," I said squeezing his hand a little more," That was mean." And bitchy and nothing else he hadn't faced from me before, but somehow it felt even worse now, liek rubbing salt in a wound.

He shrugged good naturedly," I probably deserved it."

I winced but I kept a smile on my face," You really didn't."

" No, I didn't." Stiles laughed at the look on my face," Ok maybe I did, a little. I was kind of douchey a few days ago. Plus people have a hard time holding grudges against me, my mom always said I was too cute for my own good." He teased, I blushed and looked down at our entertwined fingers. I didn't even realize I was still holding onto his hand or was that me?

" Sure you are." I fidelled with my nails and looked up, ready to tell Stiles exactly how I felt.

"Well obviously," Stiels voice turned serious," Look I don't want this to be awkard between us because you are really important to me. I've been thinking about and I've been a jerk, not as bad as Jackson but still, jerk. I don't want you to feel like you strung me along. I'm a big boy and you made it pretty clear where you stood, I just... I want us to make this work, just being friends." He smiled squeezing my hand before letting go.

_Friends_, how did our conversation take a turn in _**that**_ direction? I plastered a fake smile on my face as I silently cursed all the spirits, gods and guardians.

" Sure," I nodded,"friends."

Stiles grinned before adjusting his bag onto his shoulder he walked towards the corner and paused flushing red,"Lydia."

" What?" I asked struggling to keep my voice even.

" You have a tisssue on your but."

**AN: I know I know this is way to short to be bothered to read, and I'm sorry. With school starting back uop this is the first free time I'bve had lately. I promise a nice hearty chapter sometime this weekend. I decided I'd let you guys decide which theme I should work with for the next chapter, Betrayal or Need? I'm not going to request a certain amount of reviews but you should definitely review and tell me how you feel.**


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